staceycapps

So, today I go see my cardiologist because they want to do a cardiolite stress test and I have been very afraid and thought going in and seeing the dr would alleviate some fears.  I haven’t seen him for awhile and I was very excited to note that I have lost 28 pounds since I saw him last.  The last time I had seen him I came in for a cardio ultrasound test but I hadn’t gotten the results so thought I’d get them too at this appointment. 

So, I am all smiles and he drops a bomb on me.  He says, “Your ultrasound has shown that your heart valves are leaking fluid”.  I have been feeling these fluttery feelings on the left side of my chest and thought it was gas.  So, I tell him about it and he tells me that’s what he’s talking about and I feel this when my valves are malfunctioning.  He says it can be remedied by weightloss.  I told him I have lost 28 pounds since the last time he saw me and he tells me that I still have a long way to go.  I agreed a long way!  But, I was feeling very scared!  I told him how scared I was about everything and the upcoming test.  He was good at reassuring me.  He says that he already knows I have this problem which can be corrected, the other test will show if there’s any damage and if anything further needs to be done but he’s going to put me on some meds after the test is done.  I take a lot of meds already for diabetes and high cholesterol.  My blood pressure was good tho, thank God or I would be on that too.

So, next week I go in for a Peripheal Arterial Test which will be an ultrasound of my lower extremeties, and then the 17th I have the stress test.  I am worried about the results but the dr convinced me it’s better to know ahead of time than to suffer a heart attack, but it’s pretty stressful!  I feel so angry that I let myself get this way and gain all this weight and that all of my illnesses are the result of my obesity.  I am hypersensitive to the fluttery feelings now and I seem to notice it all the time now which is adding to my stress.  And it seems to be taking me forever to lose weight these days and it’s mandatory that I do!

For those of you who do not know what a cardiolite stress test is, it is a heart test where they will give me an IV of some nuclear substance and then I will walk on a treadmill and then they take pictures of my heart.  Then, a few hours later, I come back and get more nuclear stuff and I will lay down.  It’s going to look at the blood flow and valves and all that stuff.  I am trying not to act like this is a big deal so I don’t have a complete panic attack when I go in.   But, I am pretty scared!